 Rex features I've been reading the comments on The Japanese Art of Grieving a Miscarriage, and there are two overwhelming consensuses: 1) Pregnancy loss--whether through miscarriage or abortion--is incredibly painful. 2) Something needs to be done to make the experience less lonely. So I'm going to try. Shallow cultural appropriation aside, I'm creating a virtual Jizo garden. If you have a Jizo statue (or any memorial to a lost child--piercings, tattoos, shrines, ornaments, etc.) and would like to submit a photo, please contact me below. I love the idea of seeing Jizos together as you see them in Japan. Perhaps in full force, we can all feel a little less alone. Facebook UsersMessage me a picture at facebook.com/hiangelaelson.
3 Comments
1/12/2017 08:58:20 am
Hey Angela, I troll the internet in search of articles like yours to post as I am the co-moderator of The Compassionate Friends closed FB group for miscarriage and stillbirth, where I'll be posting your lovely essay today. For myself, I've had 13 pregnancies and have 5 living children. My fourth child was run over when he was 15 months old and 9 months later, my fifth baby, Jonah, was stillborn at term due to abruption. Their stories and more are told in my memoir, Breathe, and, indeed, Jonah and all the others are all Jizo worthy and I do wish I'd known about this lovely custom then and thank you for enlightening me. Sometimes they get lost in the shuffle of so many losses but I'm enjoying picturing my own garden of 7 Jizos as gardening and planting trees and such are some of the many outlets I've used for my own grief. I recently gave a TEDx talk on Why We Should Share Our Stories as I do believe we need to shatter the silence surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth here in the "west" and am always looking for ideas and venues, as such. Our TCF group is not yet 2 years old and has over 800 members so, Warning! You may receive a flood of photos. I do a bit of speaking about grief and child loss and talk to moms in their 80's and 90's who were never allowed to grieve their tiny lost babies and they cry like it was yesterday. As moms, we never forget. And we do need ritual and space in which to heal. I hope our paths cross some day and wish you well with your book!
Angela
1/12/2017 01:00:15 pm
Hi, Kelly,
Eryn Wright
1/12/2017 05:06:24 pm
This is so beautiful, truly. A friend who's partner suffered two miscarriages once told me that it was like losing the dream of a life - all of the things they had started to plan and look forward to, all of that hope of what was to come, gone. Though they did go on to have a son, that description has always stayed with me. Leave a Reply. |
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